If you’re all “Help! I suck at dating” like some people I know, consider these practices an aid if you’re going through some hard times. And even if you don’t suck at dating, you can apply these practices to other life events. Many of you sent in message after message about going through similar pain and asking for tips on how to heal a broken heart and move on. Here’s what I’ve been up to the past couple of weeks…
(Sidenote: this photo was too good/dramatic NOT to put here. Break up talk in the rain with an umbrella ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Perfect placement if I do say so myself. Gotta love Costa Rica in rainy season.)
I’ve been very drawn to nature recently. I don’t want to be inside a gym to work out. I don’t want to watch any sort of TV (except for binging Queer Eye because it’s THAT good and makes me laugh and happy cry all at the same time). I crave being by a body of water or amongst trees for a run. It’s no secret that nature is cheaper than therapy 🙂 When I had my surgery last year, one of the first trips I took was a solo trip to Banff National Park in Alberta, Canada. WHOA. Talking about healing powers. I came back healed and happy as a clam. (Are clams even happy though? Profound thoughts of the day…)
Run. Run. And run some more. I’m not saying run away from your problems at all, but get the endorphins going as they act as a natural “drug” that make people more energetic, more awake and, yes, happier 🙂 If you’re in the mood to hit something, may I suggest Title Boxing? Love that place. I was talking with a good friend last week who gave me some advice. She told me when she was going through a break up, she allowed herself to only think about her ex while on the treadmill. Don’t give him any more brain power than that.
The lovely late poet John O’Donohue once said that music is what language would love to be if it could. It moves people in a way that simple words cannot. It can transport the listener and take them to another place entirely. It can bring out the greatest joy as well as the deepest sorrow, but the healing force is undeniable…whether it be fierce girl power by Beyoncé or melancholic music from Ruth B.
After loads of requests, I’ve complied some powerful songs that pack a punch to get you through hard times. It goes through the anatomy of a break up, and I call it Catching Flights Not Feelings.
It’s been hard to be present recently. Some days I felt like I was just going through the motions and not fully aware of what was going on around me. This is something I’ve always struggled with, though, since I’m always writing about the past and planning for future travels. It’s hard to be truly mindful of where I currently am sometimes. Because of that, I’ve been able to find new meaning in yoga. I’ve been practicing for 8 years now, but it hasn’t been until the past few years that I looked at it as something more than just a workout. More on that later, but if you’re a beginner and want to get into yoga, I’d suggest finding a local studio and going to a Beginner’s class. If you aren’t near a studio, try out YogaGlo.com. I used this platform all the time while living in Argentina and fell in love 🙂 One of my favorite teachers is Katheryn Budig, but I’d suggest trying out many different instructors to see who you like.
I went to Dallas the day of the break up. I cried. I yelled. I sang at the top of my lungs for 4 1/2 hours. It was all very therapeutic.
Friends and wine
Keep them. Love them. Cherish them. They are both good food/drink for the soul.
They will always be excited to see you when you walk in the door. Affectionate, loving and comforting 27/4 and what’s better than that? Short answer: nothing.
Lots of them. With wine. Bubbles. Pizza. Anything can compliment a bath if you let it.
No alarm clocks
Self love is important, and proper self love is good sleep. I remember turning all of my alarms off last year while I recovered from surgery, and I did the same thing for a few days this April as well.
Oooh so therapeutic. Even if you aren’t a writer, try it. It might surprise you. If there are still loose ends you want to tie up, write him/her a letter. I was able to speak my mind and say every little last thing which was so cathartic, but I know that not everyone gets that opportunity.
Anything. Trashy romance novels. Self help books. Gossip mags. Cookbooks. Whatever floats your boat. I just started The Love Gap by Jenna Birch who was kind enough to send me a copy. She talks about millennial themes in dating and why smart women are still single…WHY JENNA? So.many.questions.
Ohhh Mexico. It sounds so simple I just got to go… James Taylor knew exactly what he was talking about with these lyrics. Visit Mexico sent me to Mazatlán for some beach time and travel conference time, but yeah, mostly beach time. Somethin’ bout the ocean ya know? Check out Skyscanner‘s ‘Everywhere’ option when typing inside the TO box. It’ll show you the cheapest tickets from your airport to anywhere in the world for whatever dates you put in.
Podcasts. Like blogs, they’ve been around for a while but they’ve recently really caught on. Lots of people have them, so it’s just about listening to finding out what sings to you.
This American Life: Break-Up – Someone on Twitter suggested this episode to me, so I listened to it while on a long walk. The beginning part about Phil Collins and writing the perfect break-up song was pretty entertaining.
On Being with Krista Tippett: The Inner Landscape of Beauty with John O’Donohue – This may be my favorite episode of a podcast I’ve ever listened to. It’s pretty intense and gets super deep, so stay with it. Lots of goldmines in the last half of it!
10% Happier with Dan Harris – This is actually my favorite book, but Dan has created a podcast with the same overarching theme of the book. He talks with various people to see if there’s anything beyond that 10%.
QUEER EYE. Low key obsessed and you should probably be too. Seeing these 5 men in their element and bridging the gap in a very divided America is e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. It’s on Netflix if you haven’t yet feasted your eyes. Do it.
Social media is a blessing and a curse. Some days it reinstalls my faith in humanity and how beautiful it is. Some days it’s a total drag from Trolly McTollersons. Haters gunna hate. Playas gunna play. F*boys gunna f.
Like Beyoncé once said – he’s probably the best thing you never had. Onwards and upwards, y’all.
Your turn – any advice on break up activities?